Story Story!...................................STORY!...
Once upon a time!......................Time Time...
In a village called Uzuh, in the great Ajah kingdom, there was a man ....this man can lie ehn?....he can lie for Olympics oooo...One day, the man lied and Nepa took light...even satan wonders who or what tempts and motivates the man to lie......................."see all of you really wanting to hear story" LOL......
Hello lovies. How are you? hope you enjoyed my story?....I'm sure you did..else, I'll tell another...LOL..
Have you ever felt like you're not good enough and all you want to do is give up? Like you just get really depressed and all you want to do is either cry or sleep? I need to do a check up mehn...been feeling like that of late and I need to work on it. I mean I love where I am but I feel like I'm getting old....and I've stopped having fun. I miss having fun. Asides work and blogging, there's nothing more to Moby. I am so boring. I told le boo yesterday (he is kinda my therapist) and he said and I quote 'Babes You are in the season of sowing....you are still planting and so when the season of harvesting comes, you would have so much fun'....*folds arms +rolls eyes + stamps feet on the ground...then huge sigh!*... I guess that worked for my mood yesterday cos after he spoke (the guy can sabi form inspirational talker), I felt so much better.
So let's get back to today's topic before I bore all of you. I'm starting a movement in church for the teenagers. I mean I'm all about perfection and avoiding mistakes and I won't want to see these teens and kids go through what I went through as a teenager. Mehn boys have lied to me o.......Like seriously..I have been lied to and I have been deceived but I survived...
I hear lots of people say I'm hard core but mehn my heart has been toyed with so many times ehn....I dunno how Le boo made it sef...still trying to understand....(his jazzman is very potent). I have heard some lies that made my head spin 360 degrees and I was like WHAT!!!....YOU DIDNT JUST LIE TO MY FACE LIKE THAT...I MUST LOOK REALLY DUMB AFTERALL. So I thought of some of the lies I've heard and this idea just came to my head and I thought to ask my closest friends here on this blog to help me. Very soon I'll start inviting some of us to help me speak to the teenagers at my church and you never know, we might just start something mind blowing. I'm all for change because the things I see around just always amazes me..... Like primary school kids having girl/boyfriends (at that age I didn't even know what boyfriend meant)....or a secondary school child "suffering" a heart break!!...like WHAT!...I just imagined me (when I was in secondary school) telling my mum I was heartbroken....infact many other things on me would have been broken by her like my leg, my arm, my head... Iya Dayo sha..hmnnn. I have this neighbour who is barely 15 and the things I hear about her, my mouth just goes..HIAN!.....
I know some of us won't mind and the 1st person I would invite to speak with my church's teenage group would be Ugo because we talked about this before..*thumbs up*.
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| My reaction all the time |
I know some of us won't mind and the 1st person I would invite to speak with my church's teenage group would be Ugo because we talked about this before..*thumbs up*.
So lemme share some of the lies I've heard and I would need y'all to help me. Ladies your own is cooking o. While I was typing this post, I was at a basketball court and I had lots of guys give me plenty lies...some I can't even type because of space... and then I was put on the spot. I was asked what lies we ladies tell when we don't want to have sex and I had to snitch a little. I swear I didn't tell them everything....I only told them what they already know. I promised to give a shout out to them... Sup my niggas.. thanks for the snitching. Y'all are far too kind...mwahh *this my fake bri-english will not put me in wahala some day* Hehehe. Let's do this. This is top secret so shuusshhh.....
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| Don't tell anyone I told you o...shuush |
1. JUST THE TIP....
Truthfully, I have fallen for this one. I mean how stupid could I have been to fall for this lame trick. Ladies, if a guy tells you 'just the tip', tell him to keep it all to himself....both the tip and the bottom and the remaining part of it. Okunrin sha....you can lie. Ahhhhh....
2. LETS HANG OUT IN A PRIVATE PLACE... JUST ME AND YOU... I SWEAR NOTHING WILL HAPPEN...
The 'I swear' brothers are not the nicest at all. Girls when a guy says that, look into his eyes and say 'I will pass on that offer'. It is a lie...a big fat lie. As long as no one will be there, he is going to do everything to get into your panties. He would try all the tricks in the book. First he'll say 'Baby feel comfortable...feel at home' *in Igbo accent*. Then he asks 'Can you take off your shoes'...then he would ask to cuddle you or you cuddle Him and before you know it, a sort of action called UNDRESSING would take place. God save you he doesn't rape you at the end...oya hold your ears now.... Don't go to a private place with a guy you have no plans of sleeping with. If you do, mehn sorry for you o. *covers face*... I have fallen for this particular one. SMH for me.
The 'I swear' brothers are not the nicest at all. Girls when a guy says that, look into his eyes and say 'I will pass on that offer'. It is a lie...a big fat lie. As long as no one will be there, he is going to do everything to get into your panties. He would try all the tricks in the book. First he'll say 'Baby feel comfortable...feel at home' *in Igbo accent*. Then he asks 'Can you take off your shoes'...then he would ask to cuddle you or you cuddle Him and before you know it, a sort of action called UNDRESSING would take place. God save you he doesn't rape you at the end...oya hold your ears now.... Don't go to a private place with a guy you have no plans of sleeping with. If you do, mehn sorry for you o. *covers face*... I have fallen for this particular one. SMH for me.
3. I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU...WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX...
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| My face all the time I hear this one |
Ladies if a guy tells you this,RUNNN....like pick up your bags and run. Or if you really like him, just close your legs tight and smile.. That guy is a pathological liar. That guy would lie and the fishes in the sea would drown. There is nothing like making love... Sex is Sex. When a guy brings out his thing...(you know the thing na)...and he finds a way to put it in your thing... it is SEX..as long as there is penetration, it is called SEX....The fact that he reduces the speed and tenacity, or occasionally looks into your eyes, or let's a soft music fill the background, or doesn't take you on different positions and doesn't slap or tap....all these do not change the fact that what you guys would be doing is SEX. Don't go and start blushing because he said he wants to make love to you...love making is only between a man and his wife and sometimes, even with married people, they prefer straight out, uncensored sex. A guy that says that to you wants to toy with your emotions just to get into your panties...the Emotion-Attacking liars are the baddest of the liars. They can kill you and you won't know.... I have never fallen for this one sha because I hate people that sugar coat everything. I love when a guy just comes out plain... can't deal mehn.
4. I COULD SLEEP WITH A THOUSAND GIRLS, but I chose you so you are special.
The set of guys that say this just want to mess with your self esteem. These kind of liars are also very bad. When a guy mentioned this yesterday, all the guy went into silent mode... I'm guessing this is the one that mustn't be said cos it works all the time. These guys would make you feel like shit just so you can be a slave to them. When a guy says that, don't smile too much o. Smile a little and say 'Go and be with those other girls....my vagina is worth more than all the thousand girls.'. Let him know you love yourself and you respect your body enough not to give it up to some guy that thinks he can come and toy with your head just to get to your cherry. No way *snaps fingers*
The set of guys that say this just want to mess with your self esteem. These kind of liars are also very bad. When a guy mentioned this yesterday, all the guy went into silent mode... I'm guessing this is the one that mustn't be said cos it works all the time. These guys would make you feel like shit just so you can be a slave to them. When a guy says that, don't smile too much o. Smile a little and say 'Go and be with those other girls....my vagina is worth more than all the thousand girls.'. Let him know you love yourself and you respect your body enough not to give it up to some guy that thinks he can come and toy with your head just to get to your cherry. No way *snaps fingers*
5. I LOVE YOU....I don't usually say this to any girl but I love you
Hahahaha. Do not... I repeat.... do not believe these kind of guys. It is a freaking lie. He has said that to every girl he has ever been with. Don't even think about blushing....before you'll go and blush and your heart would go and misinterpret the message. This is what I do when someone says that to me.... I smile and I say 'wow' and I keep smiling. I almost want to laugh at this point but I keep smiling. Someone I really liked said that to me and I kinda stopped liking him. I mean I can stand stupid but I can't stand liars. Can't deal at all mehn.
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| You can lie...hian |
Hahahaha. Do not... I repeat.... do not believe these kind of guys. It is a freaking lie. He has said that to every girl he has ever been with. Don't even think about blushing....before you'll go and blush and your heart would go and misinterpret the message. This is what I do when someone says that to me.... I smile and I say 'wow' and I keep smiling. I almost want to laugh at this point but I keep smiling. Someone I really liked said that to me and I kinda stopped liking him. I mean I can stand stupid but I can't stand liars. Can't deal at all mehn.
So at this juncture, I have news for everyone. Someone sent me a mail asking how boo feels about most of my posts and I remember someone asked me the same thing on this blog. Hmnnnn.. So come Monday, Le boo would be answering plenty of your questions. I mean I can't say how he feels about so many things so I want him to answer all of your questions HIMSELF. Is there anything you want to ask him. (*whispers* Me I have one question I want to ask him).... you can send in your questions to moby.amusu@gmail.com or just leave it in the comment section down below and on Monday you would get your answers on this blog. I can't wait already.
Moby was awarded the versatile blogger award by the delectable Tibs.... I mean how cool is that... me...Moby... Versatile blogger. Now that's the sh*t... I was blushing like a fool when I saw the post on her blog. Thank you Tibs for the award. I guess we are doing some right afterall...hehehehe.
It's Friday again.... my weekends are usually boring except I'm working. So I would like to know what's happening this weekend. Abeg someone should invite me for owanbe na...lemme come and grace your event with my smile...*bats lashes*.
And so I open the door to the weekend. Cheers to the freaking weekend. I love you still and you all keep me going. Thank you so much.
And so I open the door to the weekend. Cheers to the freaking weekend. I love you still and you all keep me going. Thank you so much.
Congratulations to all the batch 'C' corp members that passed out yesterday.... I pray the labour market shall be favour market for you in Jesus name. Amen.
Ehn ehn...am I the only one that seem to hate Lilian representing Nigeria in the big brother house?*arghhhh* I feel she is trying so hard to be like Karen Igho... bad strategy for her mehn. She asked Africa to keep her in the house so she can keep twerking for our viewing pleasure. Like seriously... that's all you have to offer. Abeg gerrowt of here. I wish there's a way people can just vote housemates out of the house, I don't like her at all. I'm sorry for diverting o... I'm sure some people don't understand what I just typed. I just had to rant for a minute there *clears throat*.
Oya I want to hear some lies o. Mannie, Duru, Chris, JJ, Praiz, it's time to snitch on your guys. Tell us more lies guys tell and ladies, tell us the lies you've been told....and don't be shy to tell us if you fell for it or not...*wink*....I'm really eager to hear from us. Let's do this.
Cheers!