Diary of a Lagos drama

Nna mehn...

yew know yew ha balling when you are nominated for the sisterhood blogger award by a sup-aaa-star mehn...

biko shii *in my worst igbo voice ever*..hahaha

Guess who's starting something??? Yaaaayyyyy... So our dear Moby barely came back from sabbatical and the one and only "Ati ni wealth" nominates her for an award. I wasn't blushing until I saw the people I was nominated with. Chineke meeee... AH AM BALLING... *shoulderpad mode activated*

She nominated me for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers. And I am really honoured to be nominated. You can check out her blog HERE

Here are the rules

Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site; DONE
Put the award logo on your blog; DONE
Answer the ten questions sent to you; ALMOST DONE
Nominate five blogs; OKAY
Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.

GET READY COS YOUR A** IS ABOUT TO BLOW...hehehe

Below are my answers to Ati's question

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Chewing so loud you could hear from outer space...or chewing with your mouth open. No way

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2. Team Whatsapp or Team BBM?

Team none o. Truth is I am not so much of a social media person. A friend of mine called me an unsocial blogger once. But if I am to pick, I would say Team Whatsapp cos of the plenty features.

3. Eat healthy, and watch what goes into your body? OR Life is too short, enjoy all the food while you can? Which of these two describes you best?

Eat healthy, watch what goes into your body. Anyone that knows me well knows I am constantly watching my weight...with my mouth sha. I wish I could eat anything I want and still be a size 8... if wishes were horses...

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This is so me..kai

4. Make a confession about anything.

I am in love with Channing Tatum... His lips... his *clears throat*.. Next question please *fans self*

5. Do you think ladies with natural hair take the “team natural” thing too far?

Yes.. they do..all the time. Any woman on natural hair feels they know it all. Don't eat rice, rice will make your coils uncoil... do not eat beans, it will shrink your brain thereby shrinking your head and hair... I have never seen a team natural that doesn't have an opinion about hair or healthy living *points to self*.

6. Can you marry a man exactly like your father?

No I will not. I constantly put in so much effort to make sure I don't.

7. What is your opinion about premarital sex?

I think pre marital sex should not be indulged in. Let's not even involve the bible in this. When a woman sleeps with a man, there is an emotional connection and as much as she would try to form bad ass, you start using your heart to make decisions and not your head...and thereby losing focus of what the relationship was in the first place. Then the issue of STIs and STDs, trust me no one wants to go through the heart ache of feeling or knowing you have something. Imagine you find out an ex of yours died of HIV, how at peace would you be? I feel pre marital sex can be avoided. It just takes self control, discipline and GOD because I know that ko easy mehn..hehe

8. What supernatural power do you wish you had?

Telepathy. To read minds. If I could read minds, I know a lot of things will be different.

9. Tell us something you wish you hadn’t done in the past

Ahhhhh... E plenty o. Kai. I wish I didn't start dating early... Yes I know

10. Books or Movies?

Movies...moviess....movies.

Ati's questions are like WAEC questions..ahn ahnn..hehe

So I am nominating *wait for it*

Alabekee of Alabekee

Favour Moyse of Favour Moyse

Ugo of The Beautiful eagle

Dami of The underwear consultant

Miriam Ezeka of Beinspiredwithmily

My 1st question - Jollof rice or fried rice? 1b) Why?

2. What do you think of Nigerian girls and makeup presently?

3. Would you buy a product of good quality but less price or good quality but high price?

4. Have you ever had to deal with self esteem (low or high)? If yes, how did you deal with it?

5. Do you believe that children are a product of what their parent are?

6. Your thought on present day marriages.

7. If you could change something about this country, what would it be?

8. Thoughts on girls dating married men?

9. If you're given one million naira, what will you do with it?

10. Do you love Moby? hehehe

I couldn't think of better questions jor. Don't mind me but manage the ones I could think of.

This is the perfect way to start a very busy weekend.

And....I OPEN THE DOOR TO A FANTABULOUS WEEKEND... make sure you have fun.

Cheers...

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Hello Boos

How's your Saturday going?

Mine... #Busy much...

So yesterday, I was going through Linda Ikeji's blog and I saw this hilarious post done by a reader. I have been hearing alot about the Hello Challenge but I didn't know what it was until I saw this...

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hahahhahahahahahahahahaha.... OMG

Apparently its the lyrics to Adele's song HELLO.

If you were the ex, what would you do? Me.. I would kill myself knowing that my ex is still a jerk and still toying with my emotions....Can't deal o...

I decided to check my friend, Google, and I found some more hilarious responses.. Enjoy

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I can't laugh abeg..bye bye o

X0X0...

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Hello boos…hello baes...

Ske ske robo ske.....robo ske ske robo...lmao

Aswear that sounds like a cult greeting in a yoruba movie...lol...starring Muka ray and Yomi Adebayo....lol

Ok...*composes self*....back to the matter..

Whaat Y’all up tooo…??? Sneh....LoL

I know what you want...yes YOU!!!

My weekend shinanigans???? Abi?...LOL..…Ok where do I start from...errrr.... It was awesome....very interesting... but stressful o... Kai!! I have never ever been so tired in my life the way I was tired over the weekend.....I'll explain..

First, I need to show you all an old picture of me at an owanbe... I have always loved owanbes... kai. See my mouth...

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She cute...

Then I promised I was going to eat jellof rice all through the weekend… well… I DID!!!!! Hahaha. Oya let me make your mouth water small.

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This was on Friday

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Saturday

Nothing on Sunday..*sad face*

Well my weekend started with a vigil in church....(Yeah on Friday *rolls eyes*)... You can imagine how tired I was..

On Saturday morning, I had to meet up with a bride/client at Ikotun for her wedding makeover....Church is in Ogba..So you should know Ikotun would be like travelling from Ghana to Nigeria by road…hehe..

Her engagement was to start at 8 am and I knew I had to get to her place at 6 am. The vigil ended at 4 am…I couldn’t even sleep so I went home, took a quick shower and left home straight for Ikotun.... Thanks to Leboo who was available.... God bless him for me greatly....kisses + hugs. We didn’t get to Ikotun until about 7 am so I had to rush the makeup process.. This bride was super calm.. Well I had worked with her before.. I did her introduction makeover (there was no post on it cos I was on my sabbatical..hehe) but here's a picture.

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She was really super calm and even when the lipstick colour wasn’t working, she didn’t shout (trust me I have had a bridezilla attack before who used her mouth to destroy everything). The only thing I didn’t like was the number of people around. I hate doing a makeover when a lot of people are hovering around me and the client.... It slows me down cos I get distracted by the noise and the hoo haa ohhh and then telling people to move cos they are in my space..its just annoying.. and then the issue of people going through the makeup artist’s box...*faints*. I have heard of stories of people picking up things from make up boxes all in the name of "lemme quicky re-draw my brows"...or "lemme just use powder to touch my face"....next thing all your brushes are gone *folds arms*…I have even experienced it...personally. Anyways the bride turned out HAWT and everyone was happy. Here’s what she looked like

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Makeup by Moby

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Picture is blurr...dunno why o but I had to upload it

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I took plenty selfies cos I tried to look fine small na..hehe. Here's what I looked like with my friends..

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So with how tired I was, after the vigil and not sleeping,then themakeover, Leboo said he had to make another wedding..in another place.. At that point, I was already sleep walking.... I couldn’t even walk well...LOl.. so we left that wedding, for Leboo's friends own.

When we got to the reception and sat down, I knew if I had 1 more second sitting, I would doze off and start drooling on the table so I asked that I be excused. I barely got to the car and Leboo calls to say the bride had a makeup mishap and asked if I wanted to save the day… My brain was suggesting all the sleep positions I could take in the car at that point but my heart was saying “MOBY SAVE THE DAY”as I am a superwoman na...*Pops collar + swishes cape*. I carried my box and went back to the reception area and when I saw the bride, I wanted to ask to see the makeup artist that destroyed a fine woman’s face all in the name of makeup....*evil pipu*.. It was bad.. I was like

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and then...

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Even a non- makeup artist wouldn’t do such havoc on a bride... I mean it is supposed to be someone’s wedding…someone’s special day.

The bride looked like this.. I am joking

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"NOTE TO MY FUTURE WEDDING MUA: if I don’t look like Kim Kardashian on my wedding day, you will die ni"…hahaha. Make sure your contour removes all the baby fat I have in my cheek and the highlight had better highlight my future join..LOL..

It was bad…First, I had to clean off most of the foundation on her face cos it had already caked and formed different colours. I took foundation and blended her face, changed her lip colour and powdered her face and that was all. She looked a hundred times better than she did when I first saw her. Immediately I packed my load and went to sleep in the car. She was just praying and praying…the photographers didn’t even let me hear word at all..they just kept on thanking me. Leboo said the bride smiled all through cos that was all she needed. I was the miracle she needed. Unfortunately,I didn't take any pictures.

Advice to everyone: On your wedding day, don’t do akagum and go for cheap cheap everything. Go for good quality. You don’t have to pay a million..but make sure you’re paying for quality..please

Church was good on Sunday...It was the grand finale of a week long prayer conference program in my Church...And it was powerful... The way I see Sundays and church, its like a place to re-energise me and get me ready for a new week. When I don’t go to church on a Sunday, I feel so ordinary on Monday. I dunno if anyone feels the same way sha.

So, who had more fun than me. If you talk kperen, I will look for you and I don’t even know what I’ll do sef..hahaha. I am the only person allowed to have fun on weekends.

So gist me…whagwan mehn…hehe

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Hello lovie boo boo lees...

What's crackalacking???

How you feel... how you feel... how you feeling?

You only live once...that's the motto.. n*&%a YOLO *listening to Drake and I'm just feeling my moves*...hehe

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Dancing on my chair like... i dun kurrr

What do I have for us today?

Yesterday, I was talking with a guy... more like he was talking to me and this guy was awesome. I'm sure Boo is about to have a heart attack..hahaha. Yes this guy was awesome...with his English. I was in shock... fine boy with amazing English... So I was walking home from work jejely and I felt someone tap me. I turned and I see this cute boy smiling sheepishly. Immediately omo boy opened his mouth, I was dazed..like

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Before I continue, I am not perfect. Yes I gbagaun from time to time. Yes I have the H- factor (I'm sure some of you are like 'na lie jor... Moby that likes English'... taaa I have H-factor o) but everyday, I consciously try to improve myself. I see a word and immediately I google it, try to use it in a sentence and it sticks.

Have you ever had that OMG moment when you sound like Wole Soyinka or Patrick Obahiagbon? I have it sometime. I'm talking and I just use one big word in a sentence and I'm thinking "Moby Moby... you sure sey that English correct like that sha". This happens unconsciously because of a conscious effort I made in the past. I am not trying to brag but the truth is we can't be friends and not each other the truth. A lot of us are just pure lazy. We are comfortable with what we are, who we are and where we are that we never try to improve ourselves. We don't read... Remember the saying "Want to hide a secret from a n*&^A, PUT IT IN A BOOK". Let's all emulate the habit of reading..

One day, I saw Leboo reading and I was like

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SOURCE

Leboo is smart.. yes he is a smart pelsin but I hardly see him read.... Apparently the boy was snitch-reading behind me. You know those friends you have/had in school that would play from morning to night and party with you but at night, they would read and when its time for exams, they would have A's. Yes Leboo is a snitch... he belongs to that category.

Anyways, what was I saying? Bobo was just killing me softly with his gbagauns. Started with "You looks beauty" (not exaggerating). "I like to know you and be friending you". Maybe he meant befriend you or be friends with you, I still don't get but there and then, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel... I got an inspiration for a post.

So, today is Gbagaun free day. Let the gbagauns begin. I loving you since tori torun because you made my heart to be going skele skele skolo skolo.... Ha wee always loff you all plenty.

I am terrible at intentional gbagaun but mehn I am a pro when I am not even trying...hehe.

Let's see who can gbagaun most...

The 1st, 3rd and 5th person would get free airtime from me. Just leave your comment and your email and ama holla at you.

Cheers....

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Hello boos..

I am really excited about this weekend cos I have a very busy one. Don't worry...ama give you the gist in .... 3 days... Mwaaahhhhhh

and..... I OPEN THE DOOR TO A SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC WEEKEND.....

eeeeee......ahhhhhhhhh *cowgirl mode activated*

Cheers.....

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Here we come, so wave your hands...

For Moby, drama queen and Mobylizers..

It is time, for the weekend download

Sit and chill and let us read

Always...

We are Mobylizers.. yea *rap mode activated*

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I don't know how I do these things....*covers face* LOL

I can see people singing my lyrics, to the original song..LOL

Any way #backtothematter# (airtel style)

What’s crackalacking?

What's paping??....Your day?....mine is going on great...

Yeah ...Its my weekend download...and boy!...the weekend was good.. But first, meet Alhaja Nasirat... She fine small sha... haha

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First...I had the car to myself ALL WEEKEND!!!!.....*big smile*...Leboo travelled and left his car with me...(though I know his mind was up...hoping I don't kill anyone..LOL..) Did I bash?...errrrr!!!!...I'll tell you at the end of this post!

Let's do this....

My church organized a family weekend get together for the weekend and it was planned to be a fun time out for families and friends of my church... As part of the activities, the youth in my church planned a penny mart (like Jumbo sales) where you could get a pair of shoes for 20 naira....YES!...20 card pere.... Good shoes ooo..*no be anyhow thingz*.... I got this shirt for 20 naira or so sha... cos I fapped (stole) it when I was arranging (I have not paid) *covers face*..I will pay jor *rolls eyes*...

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Saturdays plan for the Church activity :-...First we had to exercise in the morning (we jogged round lagos...err ok....my area in ogba..*grin*)...then do a medical outreach to and for all those in the neighborhood and lastly, the chopping (eating) part in the evening. I had another engagement, which was my friend’s bridal shower and it was slated for 12 noon...

*cut* I wish I had a jet…or super powers that can transport me… I have been wishing for this super power since I knew what super powers were and I still do not have it.*..

So I went to Church early on Saturday morning, arranged our lil store for penny mart and went jogging. Pictures attached

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My teenagers

I have a testimony….*Sister Moby mode activated*... Praise the lord somebody.!!! God has been so faithful to me. I have lost 4 kg in 1 month. I don’t know what I am doing differently but it seems to be working… yaaaaaay. heehehe...

After jogging, I went back to church, did the lil I could do to help in church and off to my bridal shower. The shower was to be a surprise. Her (the bride) group of friends decided to surprise her which was a hard task especially as the bride is a good detective… We sha managed to pull it off nicely. The plan was her mum was going to bring her to the venue codely but her mum got stuck with other things so she called her friend to help her go pick the Bride to be, Biola, and tell her they were going to pick something at her own house for her mum. So Biola just wore her bathroom slippers, didn’t comb her hair, no makeup and followed her.

Immediately they got to the venue and she was led in, we all shouted and she started crying…haha.

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It was so cute and funny. I just hope I have a bridal shower someday. If my friends wouldn’t plan one, I hope mobylizers will…and if you all won’t, I hope Leboo would plan a couple’s shower because I would love to have some sort of shower…even if its showers of blessing..hehe *buh I trust Mobylizers....*wink*...Ya'll got me...init? Abi! Shey?

I quickly did her makeup, we bought her a dress and she changed and the party started.

Here are some pictures…

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Selfie please

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The microbial '08 3 musketeers

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These were my bestfriends in Uni... I miss those days sha..kai

Sunday was good… After service, I had meeting upon meeting upon meeting....*phew*... My youth church is having a programme on Sunday…It’s a worship programme / concert tagged UNASHAMED. It’s the 2nd edition and I’m sure you all will have mad fun...We are all invited and I would be expecting to see you all there.... The venue is at the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Abundant grace parish, Daranijo street, after AY hotels, off wempco road, Ogba, Lagos...

Come and enjoy un-interrupted worship in His presence. *Off to look for Fada J and Deola to pay advert money*...hehe

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After Church, I had to return the car to the owner.*frown*....Leboo had returned from his trip so I was to be car-less again *sad face*...I'm buying my own car before March next year....if you believe it for me say a big AMEN!!

I took an indoor game called Taboo to Leboo's house and infact, it was another period of fun. Taboo is a very interesting game, almost like charades but no gesticulation, just talking is allowed and you are not allowed to use certain words in your description.

And every one enjoyed it... Leboo's mum is such an interesting person. She played the game with us with all her might...she was even jumping when she got correct answers and she is very very smart..She even said to me at one time that "where do you think your man got his smartness from?" ehn ehnnn.

*phew*!!!....that was my weekend....crazy fun yea?.....now its your turn... who had fun? Raise your hands up…

Oh... if I bashed the car?.......well sorry to disappoint the haters LOL.......I did not bash ooo....no one died and as Leboo said, the world was/is safe..LOL...

Have a fantastic week ahead....I can already smell this weekend's party jollof.....don't worry...the next download is already promising to be 'jollofull'....

You know I love you all.....I sincerely do.....

God bless us all.

Cheers!

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Happy new month fam.

It's the first day of the 12th month of the year 2015. I remember when we were all shouting HAPPY NEW YEAR... Now its the last month of that year. God has been so wonderful. He alone is worthy to be praised.

And I pray for you, may your life glitter like gold and may the sky not be your limit but be your stepping stone, in Jesus name. I pray that people will celebrate you and your family. Your destiny helpers will locate you this month... and may your prayers be answered.

With my heart filled with joy and love, I wish to say HAPPY NEW MONTH.

*yaaaaaaaaaay*

To everyone who has visited this blog this year (hope you know you become a Mobylizer automatically), even if it was just once, I want to say a big, humongous thank you to you. You are the reason I am still here and blogging. God bless you.

*kisses*

So how was my weekend?

I will put up pictures instead... cos I have loads of work to complete today. My weekend was fantabulous... The pictures won't do justice to how much fun I had. My bride was crying like a baby all through. She is too emotional..ki lo de???? Hahahaha..

Enjoy...

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Bride before...

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Bride after

I don't have a clear picture of my bride... Thanks to phone camera. But I have a testimony and its happening very soon..very very soon.

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Seeing the bride off to her husband's house

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You knew I was going to do this...didn't you *bats lashes*

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Selfie with them girls

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If you went out on Saturday, I need to ask you a question. What did we do to the sun mbok? This has been the hottest Nigeria has ever been... WTF??? Truthfully I don't sweat as regular as everyone but the heat was gangsta... I was just pitying anyone that has a leather seat in their car and do not have AC and was also stuck in Lagos traffic. Bad combo... I'm sure that person would swim in the car. I just pray the weather changes soon cos truthfully, I have not had a good night sleep since Saturday... *sad face*

Anyways,I have a dream... A very big dream...and my colleague just insulted me over it sef.

I want to get 10 pair of shoes before the end of the year... and my colleague said "O ni nkan se" meaning I don't have work to do... hahaha.

HAPPY NEW MONTH FAM

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Yo...ma niggas...

What's happening? *hands holding crotch....two fingers in the air*..Hahaha. Can't a girl just decided to be crazy...mbok.

Tuesday was WORLD’S AIDS DAY and I was planning on putting up a post but nothing really inspired me...until today.

I am getting into that my mood again and this time, it seems worse and a lot of people are caring than usual… Just the love I’ve gotten is enough to last me a life time but I think I am an attention seeker *covers face*. I love attention kwa. Leboo brought me breakfast at work, my colleague has been asking what I want to eat for lunch... but my boss has a way of ruining your entire existence (story for another day). All my friends know the best way to break Moby’s heart is by not showing her atten… talkless of attention. I will just faint. But do not be deceived… If Moby moves on, you would wish you didn’t start.

Anyways, back to my story of getting in the mood, I got this message from a friend on my church’s whatsapp group and I thought to share. I put a lil bit of jara of my own.. put a lil Moby touch and it became blog worthy. Hehe.

I hope you learn a thing today.

Enjoy…

· He added you on Facebook

· You check his photos

· He is hot and he drives G-wagon 2015 model

· You add him as a friend

· He inboxes you

· You reply, all excited

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· He wants to hook up

· You set a date

· You dress up

· No underwear *bad geh*

· Smelling good

· You put on a makeup

· He takes you for lunch at golden gate restaurant

· He Takes you for Drinks At Nandos.

· You two have a good time *he is bursting your brains*

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· He rubs your hand and makes you laugh

· You fall in love.

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· He is looking more handsome than normal

· It’s like you've known him forever

· He takes you to his apartment

· He makes you feel comfortable and lays you on his bed

· Kiss you passionately

· You love his aggression, strength, power and you give in

· It feels good

· You know it's wrong but it feels good

· You ask for protection but he says it's too late

He says he loves you and you don't hesitate to say you love him too... You open leg

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· He penetrates and before you know it, it’s over

· He goes 2 d kitchen to get a glass of water and feeds you like a baby

· You feel special. “He must be the one”, you think to yourself.Image may be NSFW.
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· He helps you to get dressed

· He takes you to the taxi park

· He kisses you on the cheek and says “I had a great time”.

· He gives you 100,000 grand

· You smile and say “see you tomorrow babe”.

· He stays silent

· Your taxi drives away.

· In d taxi you can't stop smiling

· You get home and ping him that you got home safe

· He is online but doesn't reply. It's unlike him so you ping him again

· He doesn't respond.

· Minutes later you can't find him on your contact list

· HE DELETED YOU

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· Days, weeks, months passes by. You start feeling sick, weak, you begin to lose weight with sores in your mouth

· You go 2 d clinic and got tested

· Minutes later, nurse walks in.

· She says “I’m sorry. You're HIV Positive and pregnant".

· WHAT!!! HOW!!! WHEN!!!

· You don't understand

· Reality hits u

· You walk home. Scared. Confused.

· Where do you start from?

· You call, he doesn’t pick up.

· It’s the end of you

· You look into the sky and mumble a prayer.Image may be NSFW.
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Hmnnnnn…

How many of us read this piece and thought “It’s no biggie...Its just HIV”…and how many of us can totally relate? Try going for an HIV test with your parent (most especially your mum) and then know if its a biggie.

I used HER as the victim instead of HIM but a lot of guys also take risks. I know a guy that can sleep with anything with a hole…and he doesn’t use protection. He says it’s harsh and he reacts to condoms *hian*.

Please I beg us, let’s live well. Did you know that as at 2014,19 million of the 35 million people living with HIV today do not know that they have the virus

(SOURCE: http://www.unaids.org/).

Also, the number of people living with HIV and AIDS in Nigeria as at 2014 estimates is 3.4 million *scary right*

Live well.

Be A Girl You Want Your Daughter To Be! And Be A Man You Want Your Son To Be.

To everyone, please live a life that always pleases God alone and not human being.

God bless us all.

Cheers...

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Hellluurrrrr!!!!!!!

I know sey na only me waka come but I will still be wakaing..hehe.

I will purposely not say sorry because my sorry too dey plenty abeg. Every time I will be apologizing… but I can’t just help but say sorry. I have no excuse really…even if I try fabricating one, it would be so stupid…. Please forgive me. I am so sorry.

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It is not my intention to keep leaving all the time. You all must think I like it....no I do not... I hate it… most especially when I get calls and text from y’all asking me what’s up... I just get depressed.

Let me confess...

I purposely do not pick up your calls and read your messages cos they remind me of something I'm not doing right *sad face*. There was a day a blog visitor saw me and she just shouted my name. Whenever anyone calls me Moby, I know its either a blog reader or a new friend. If you tell my mum you’re looking for Moby, she would send you to the next street ni… no one knows me as Moby asides my sister, Lola. So immediately this beautiful woman called me and said she reads my blog, I became depressed cos I am a terrible person. I met another at a wedding over the weekend and it was so touching for me. I come up here, put up post, make people like me and then I run off like Usain Bolt. Not cool shey? Kai. Shallat to my beautiful mobylizers...i lavvvvvvv you. Oya chop kiss from ma new boo

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mpkewwwww

Guys its not easy to be a reality blogger... aswear. If it was a news blog, I will just be copying and pasting (no puns intended to all the news bloggers here) but being a reality blogger, you have to continually think and write and make people happy in the process. You want people to continually feel your emotions in your writing. Ko easy mehn. I've met a lot of mobylizer and what they always say that inspires me is “Moby you write like we know each other...like we are gisting with each other... totally relate able” and in my head, I will just be dancing skelewu...

Someone sent me this last week and I knew I had to put up a post today.

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Hello Greg

The latest one I heard was “Aunty don’t put what I just said on your blog o” and I’m like “watchu take me for... a snitch?”

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I will show you pepper... I will funk all of you up on my next blog post.. All of you that do not trust me again, I will show all of you... so Tobi and Kunle, come here now lemme open una yansh... Tobi said erhmmmmm that she...erhm... Hahaha.

This is what I'm going to do when next anyone is doing gbeborun beside me

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No jokes..I will cover my ears and make noise *sad face*

You know you can totally trust me, right? Good.

That's why I totally respect all the reality bloggers in blog sphere.

But the truth is I get tired. Yes I get tired. I don't get paid to blog... and I am not complaining… I do this cos of my passion for this so there is no pressure but there are times I just don’t feel like doing anything... I just get distracted by work, my niece and my nephews, church work and man problems *covers face* but you get my drift, shey?

So here’s to us, I love you so much and I won’t leave for anything. This is late but Merry Christmas ma mobylizer and a fabulous happy new year in advance. I pray that the New Year will favor us. No weekend download today o… but I think I am getting tired of jollof rice. I have been eating jellof rice for the past 5 days… I am tired of rice. I had an amazing Christmas o. It was on fleek *in Durus voice*.

I had a goal before the end of 2015 to get 10 new shoes...

Well, I did

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I gave one out (I had this urge to play santa on Christmas day and I did). Well, I want to play santa again. I have some shoes I want to give out. I wear a size 39 so if you're interested, please send me a mail with title INTERESTED so that I can treat the mail specially.

Oohhh...my email addy is moby.amusu@gmail.com

No words in any language can express how grateful I am for the love you all have shown me and still showing me. Thank you all so much for being there. I pray that it shall be well with you and your family. You will all be a blessing to your generation and the peace and favor of the Lord will not depart from you. Once again, happy new year in advance.

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Kisses.

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Hello mi lovies.

Thank you so much for having me back. It feels so good to be back.

This morning, I was going to put up pictures of the shoes (cos some people asked) but then I forgot my memory card at home. I am so sorry…but trust me, they are shoes I have worn before but are in pretty good shape.

I got a lot of INTERESTED mails yesterday *whew*. My plan initially was give out 2 pair of shoes but I got a lot of message... so I decided to give out the shoes on a first come first serve basis….and then GBAM, leboo read one of the mails and begged me to give of the sisters that sent in a mail. *turns to aunty* Aunty the jazz that you used worked o… congratulations…You know yasef. Hahaha

So I will send a mail to the winners after putting up this post. Congratulations...and I hope you like it.

In other news, I got some pretty interesting mails from you guys. The one that shocked me most was a guy that asked what give away I was going to do for them boys… this person also added that I’m beginning to be a feminist with my blog *side eye for you o*. And then GBAM...my head started booting. I can do giveaway for the guys na. What do guys need the most asides money? erhmmmm...a partner..hehe.

So I am doing a giveaway for my single guys in the house. Which other gift can be more perfect than the gift of a girlfriend in 2016. Hehehe.

I have 3 single girlfriends and I am going to profile them so you can choose by yourself based on my profiling. If interested, just send a mail with title INTERESTED IN A or INTERESTED IN B or C with a contact number. She would call you and if she likes you, congratulations. You get….

Ladies, make una no vex o... I love playing match maker. There was one time, I was the don of match making until reality set in that most of the relationship that didn’t work, came back to haunt me. Don't worry if this goes well, I will do GIVEAWAY HUSBAND too. I know Tunde Aare is single *covers face*

I will call each one SINGLE A, B and C. If you are the single, just thank me later for finding you love in a hopeless place and in a hopeless manner… hehe.

Here we go.

SINGLE A: Beautiful. 5ft 6 in. She is not fat..neither is she slim. Has a B.Sc. About to finish her MBA. Light skinned. Good mannered. Smiles a lot. Very brilliant. DOWNSIDE: She is very diplomatic. She doesn't take crap *evulllls*.

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SINGLE B: Beautiful. 5 ft 4 in. Dark skinned. Has a B.Sc. Still serving. Loves cooking. Just got out of a bad relationship. Looking for a job. DOWNSIDE: Very very emotional. She likes money so if you no get money abeg don’t put interested.

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SINGLE C: She’s a tomboy. Beautiful. 5 ft 8 in. She is a sport blogger (if you like go and be looking at all the sports blog…you will not find her). She is super nice and we are watching our weight together even though we know we are wasting our time). DOWNSIDE: She is a lil shy…not sure sha but I think she is.

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NOTE: This is my personal opinion of these girls cos I know them. They only suggested I hook them up…but maybe not through the blog. I know a lot of you will say shey all of them are beautiful…which one wey ugly amongst them (which one is ugly amongst them)… Well, monkey no fine but hin mama like am. They are all fine. Ntoiii…

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Oya o…I don try o. Guys here’s your own give away.

Why do I think Leboo would send a mail? Just saying o.

…….Off to reply mails.

Okay bye.

Cheers.....

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No be design am o... I saw this beautiful banner and edited it..Before someone would send me petition

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Happy new year family...let's this do again...see you on the other side.

I would love to have everyone's number... please.. I have a few and I really want to speak with you all.

Thank you so much.

Cheers...

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I try small sha..

Hello my dearest Mobylizers

I wish I was anonymous and no one knew I was Moby... the kind of things you'd read on here would scare the crap out of you. Still scares me when I think about it sometimes sha...

I'm sure by now, we have jotted down a list of our resolutions.. I did. The first was "I WILL NOT DRINK COCA COLA IN 2016". I have had 3 bottles already *covers face*. So what's the assurance I would be able to keep to the others *sad face*.
Anyway, I know 2016 is going to be AMAZE-BALLS. I can feel it and I pray this year would favor us all in Jesus name...Amen.

I think 2015 was one of my nastiest years...*covers face* I did loads of nasty things that I can't put on the blog (nobody should call me and start asking questions o cos I will not say anything at all *lips sealed*). Just in case my pastor reads this, what I meant was 2015 was amazing. You know nasty doesn't mean I did bad things, right? Good.

So the good.

I had more followers in 2015 on all social media even though I had just 10 additional followers on twitter but its still a good thing. More people read my blog and my pagestat was tripled what it was in 2014...I usually don't check my stat but when I do, my brain just does this special moonwalk...hehe.

I got a job. It actually is my first time working for someone and it has not been the best experience so far but I'm learning. I woke up this morning with red eyes... Don't know if its conjunctivitis or cos I am angry and I am not smiling *angry face*.

I don't know where this falls but I let go of a lot of people. I made new friends and I stopped talking to some. So its good and bad.

This part is the best part of 2015...I got plenty pair of shoes. Some I got as a gift from people and some were from myself to myself. Now that's how I know 2015 was good indeed.

I became a worker in church...okay if that's not a big deal to anyone, it is to me. Now I get broke than normal cos the church requires my time and money.... crazy but God loves a cheerful giver, right?

To the bad part-

I got into my depression mood more than 2014...even affected blogging. Really need to watch it this year. I cannot come and go and come and kill myself. I think the depression sickness is getting rampant these days. Hmnnn it is well. I am letting go of negative thoughts...its not impossible to have negative thoughts, its how you handle it that counts.

I didn't keep to a lot of promises and I am so sorry about that. I would try better this year.

I had no life on social media (that's supposed to be good shey)...well I am taking social media serious now. People are making money through social media...I am going to. We no go carry last.

UGLY-

For some funny reason, I was looking for validation. I was constantly looking for someone to tell me I was good enough..that I am beautiful and that everything would be alright... From friends, family and the world. I mean, its not a bad thing shey? I have decided to do my best and leave the rest.

There are some moments I am not so proud of and can't talk about but taking the advice of my anonymous friend who doesn't want anyone to know her, NSG, I am letting go.

I am going to have me some fun in 2016. I think I grew up too fast and so I missed a lot in the process. So 2016, we are going to have us some fun.

Finally, I have decided to be a lil selfish this year. I have given enough of my time and energy to too many things and too many people and so I am going to be selfish and I am going to give myself a pat on the back when I'm done...Not to worry, y'all are safe *winks*.. That's like super cool.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments, emails, shout outs.... even with all my nsansa (running) attitude, you all stood by me through it all. Thank you so much.

I wish I could list names but my oga at the top said if I do, I might forget to include some people's names and it might cause wahala.

Thank you for making this blog worth coming back to. Thanks for your prayers...they really go a long way. Y'all made my 2015 da bombest..hehe...
Let's make 2016 bombing (that didn't make sense shey?)

I wish you an amazing new year.

God bless you.

Cheers

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What the f*&K did I just read?

Good day Mr.Chairman sir, panel of judges, accurate time keeper and my fellow audience.

Before I continue, I will like to give honor to whom honor is due..before some people will call me out and say I am trying too hard to blog like Stella. *hol up...hol up* I love Stella Dimokokorkus and I love her style of blogging but is it enough to get insulted over.. eyin eyan buru sha(humans are wicked sha).

Anyways, I was going through Stella's chronicle post and I saw this hilarious one. It is friggin' funny to me I swear and I am sure you all will say the same thing. Like TF...

Don't let me spol it for y'all...please read.

Dear Stella, I have been following ur blog since 2012. Call me a monitoring spirit cos I know everything happening over there but I have never commented. No, I commented once but it wasn't posted. Lol. So here goes my chronicle.

I'm 33, by the way. I've been dating this guy since 2008. We served together but started dating after service. He left the country in 2008 but we have been dating since then. I've had a couple of "serious relationships" but somehow they keep getting messed up and I keep going back to him. He has been awesome and treats me well. He loves and respects me and sometimes I get irritated because he doesn't have a mind of his own.

We do anything I want to do, and I'd prefer someone who would make major decisions sometimes. I have visited him a couple of times in the UK.

So day before yesterday we were skyping and inside the gist he asked me what I think about the Olamide/Donjazzy ish. And I said I think they were both wrong, Olamide shouldn't have thrown a tantrum and Don J should have just ignored. Boyfriend starts saying Donjazzy is a pretender, etc etc and as far as Olamide has apologized it's ok.

I told him not to judge as he doesn't know what goes on in the life of these people but My crime was to say that saying sorry does not wipe away your f-up as you might say sorry and the person says it's ok but it doesn't change what you have done or the pain you have caused. Gbam.

My guy starts shouting that I am mean and unforgiving. At first I thought it was a joke because we were having a healthy argument till‎ I realised he wasn't joking. Like joke he ended the relationship saying he's not sure he can be with someone who can make a comment like that (saying sorry doesn't right your wrongs) and went off the line. I'm still confused.

I can categorically state that I never disrespected him or raised my voice. A part of me is finding it funny cos if someone asks why we are not together am I supposed to say we broke up on top of Donjazzy and Olamide argument?

I called yesterday and all he said was that it wouldn't work. I can't apologize for having an opinion but I'm scared. Will I meet someone else? Or am I supposed to remove my heart from a 7 year relationship because of this? I know it sounds unbelievable because people have posted chronicles and I have rolled my eyes and asked myself "who dis one wan lie to", but it is true. Please post this, Stella, under chronicles or in house gists I don't even know. I shouldn't be finding it funny because we were supposed to do our traditional wedding in April.

The end.

GBAM....

If you didn't open your mouth like I did then you are an ogbanje. Hahaha. If I knew this babe, I would take her to church and ask her to give testimony. She just dodged a mighty bullet from a guy she's about to get married to. I have heard crazy breakup lines but this one is TOP NOTCH. O beat e hands down...Like seriously.

I need to go and vomit.

BRB.....

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*CLEARS THROAT*

*peeps in*

*one leg in*

Oh nooo... my heart is beating faster than normal. Why am I scared to blog? This is my baby and I am scared to cuddle her.. noooooo.

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I know why I am scared. I am scared of giving up again. I do not want to have a major breakdown again and leave. I always leave when I can't figure things out. Its like my coping mechanism. I leave. Its not cool and I know*sad face*. I need a hug right now *opens arms*

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Shallat to ma boos...

I will mention these few people. Not cos you all don't matter but because these people were stalking me all over to come back here.. even saw some of them in my dreams carrying laptop and shouting blog o blog o...hahaha just joking. These guys inspired me to come back. At a point, I had to ask if it was by force to blog but I just know you all did it out of love. Thank you all for being so patient with me.

Deola.. Thank you for threatening me on Sunday. Your cup will soon get full. Lizzy (I should call you sister) This lady called me almost everyday. Last time she called, I was laughing like a mad woman cos I knew why she called and I gave her the lamest excuse ever... and she was so full of support and words of encouragement. Thank you sis. Icelaw and Duru (Duru makes me question why I do not have a younger brother)...thanks guys.

Y'all that decided to stalk me on Instagram...Yaaaay we have over 900 followers on Instagram now o even though I am still the most boring person on there. I beat uncle Kelechi to that title (*turn to KC* Yea I just mentioned your name). Its annoying when I tell people that I blog and the next thing they say is "you better not mention me on your blog". God catch all of you lemme hear gist about you... It would end up here asap.

Wait a minute

See cobwebs everywhere. Oya everyone grab your brooms...let's sweep abeg.

No gist for anyone until this place is clean. Oya alele *mummy mode activated*

Mehn a lot has happened o. We haff not blogged since January. That's bad. What was I doing with my life? How did I survive? Kai kai kai. I am tired of giving empty promises. I won't but I will try not to go again.

I have loads of plans for us. Just give me time...we will get to it. Just be patient.

This is a very long welcome address but I shall be back with plenty drama.

I miss you guys and we hope to take over.

I love you all like KILO N SELE....

Cheers...

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You know Moby is back to Blogsville when you start seeing things like this. Hahahaha...

I can imagine some people's faces like "ehn mgbo Moby has a smelly down-below".

Let me digress a bit.

I was talking to a friend of mine sometime and I asked her what other nick names she calls her Vagina (using medical terms here before Pastor will call me out during worker's meeting) and she said SOUTH PARK.

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Erhmmmm Okay... makes sense right?

I have 6 major names I call mine... ~~Down-below, Hoo-ha, p&*&y, VJJ and ******* (can't be written on this blog and Hullabalu~~. This is a holy ground. Hehehe.

Okay so let's get to today's post.

A lot of ladies at one point in their lives have smelt a foul odor coming from their Hoo-ha. If you lie, if you lie kperen, you will go to hell fire...hahaha

Studies have shown that 40 to 50 percent of women will have Bacterial Vaginosis or a yeast infection at some point within their childbearing years. Yep it’s true. What inspired this post? I am very smell sensitive (English scholar what’s the general name o), reason I don't kiss upanda. Once you have a mouth odor, I pass *true story*.

So I passed by a female colleague at work some days ago and I smelt her hullabalu. All of you will say hmmnnn now but well I did smell something but I didn't say anything o.

I cannot come and go and chop slap.

I have noticed that the problem with we ladies is that when these symptoms pop up, most of us just assume it’s nothing and use any antibiotics hopeful it would work and then we grow frustrated when they don’t go away because you never even had a yeast infection to begin with. You’ve prolonged your own agony.

I think, unfortunately, all women think any time their VJJ itches, it’s a yeast infection but in reality, the only commonality between Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) and a yeast infection would be itching. Yeast infections don’t smell, and BV does have a distinct smell. Another big difference is that the white cottage cheesy discharge of a yeast infection isn’t present with BV. So if you itch, call a doctor... you’ll fast-track your treatment and save yourself some uncomfortable days.

NOTE: You’ll Need an Antibiotic

There are two ways to treat BV which can be an oral antibiotic which you take twice a day for seven days or a vaginal treatment which you insert into the vagina at bedtime for five nights.

Ask your doctor for the ones best for you.

Which one’s best?

That really depends on your preference.

Most ladies prefer the by-mouth dose but if you have a sensitive stomach, you might want to opt for the down-there application as some antibiotics can sometimes upset the stomach.

HOW DOES MOBY KNOW ALL THIS?

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durhhh... my face as you're thinking about the kweshion

I read. I work in a Hospital and I belong to the 50 percent of women that will suffer (or have suffered) from BV or a yeast infection.

Incase you have any question, ask me and I will ask Dr. Dami (she'll kill me when she sees this though)

LESSON LEARNT: Don't be scared to talk about changes you notice in your down-below. It might be a symptom of something very serious and it might be too late by the time you talk. Then ask people. I remember once, my sister asked if I ever smelt anything fishy around her. It was an uncomfortable moment but I had to answer… which is none of y’alls business. hehe..

There are other disease that can cause a smelly hoo-ha but for the reason of this post, I decided to talk about just two of them.

I feel very smart right now... I should go and open my own Hospital with the knowledge I have.

Off to look for a piece of land...

Peace out.... mwahhh

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It is hard too..hehe

Sup...sup..sup ma niggas.

First, happy first mobylizing weekend.

Everything we are doing here now is new o.. Feeling like I just came back from jand..hehe.

I met a Mobylizer yesterday at an event and you all needed to have seen her face when she saw me. She said "Moby mentioned me on the blog o" and she was so happy that I was back to blogging. I was feeling so inspired ehn. I decided to put up a post today because of Deola and I hope when next she sees me, she gives me an iphone 6 ~~cos I have mentioned her on the blog twice in one week~~ *covers face*.

Kisses huni.

So what do I have for us today?

While I was gone on my sabbatical, I was inspired to do this post. I read something similar on a website and I decided to do a Moby version *you know how we do it na* so let's get to it.

I know a few guys can totally relate to it but all my sisters in the house will understand. Where my sistas at?

The beauty struggle for us women has been real since the beginning of time. I remember struggling with my mum over this particular green lipstick that turns red after application. I'm sure some of y'all used that lipstick.

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If you know this lipstick, say AMEN... You don old

And then the issue of using lipgloss so you could impress your crush buh she gave you this instead

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Kaii...why evulls mama

I know some of y'all used vaseline but robb gave your lips a damp feeling and didn't shine a lot like vaseline. I would know this cos I used both *ntoi*.

Here are some beauty habits you probably forgot you had in secondary school.

Using wet lips so generously, it always looked like it would drip under the hot sun. So I won't lie, Moby had a crush in Secondary School and she did this to impress him well. I stole my sister's lipgloss (Absolute was the reigning lipgloss then...that thing can like to shine) when I saw the robb Iya Dayo gave me wasn't working well Image may be NSFW.
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Buying “Tony Montanna” or “Enchateur”

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SOURCE

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Using clear nail polish on our nails even if they never really made a difference because coloured polish wasn’t allowed. I used to put groundnut oil on my nails to make it shiny though *shaking my head for me*
And everybody had this one.Putting a little attachment in your cornrows thinking you looked like Alicia Keys, while it really made no difference.

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Putting beauty marks on your face cos we thought it was cute. Well I think it is cute cos I still do it sha *covers face*

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I have been laughing at myself since. Can't deal mehn... All this for a boy shey? If you did this at any point in your life, get a mirror, look at yourself and ask "was the boy worth it?". Hahahaha.

Ayam looking for a mirror now..when I find it, I will ask myself and come back to give y'all the reply.

Brb....

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Hello Mobylizers

So today, I decided to blog whore a little and I checked out the boo's blog (Berry Dakara).... ~~She has no idea how much I love her~~ and this post caught my attention and I have decided to share with y'all. Please check out her blog. She is amazing and I just can't get enough of her gorgeousness.

I decided to share this post because I can totally relate. There's just too much pressure on ladies to get married that we all truly forget the essence of marriage. A friend of mine got married at 20 (immediately after Uni) because her mum just wanted to have a grandchild and she was the only child (the irony of it all is she is still not preggo).

I was talking to her early last year and she said 'I WISH I CHILLED... I am tired already' and then she decided to go in deep about her marriage. Marriage is beautiful, no doubt, but you need to be prepared mentally and emotionally to handle it.

Anyway, read Berry's post and let's talk in the comment section.

Hi everyone,

Cakes (Cakes is the hubby) and I went on an impromptu date a few weeks ago, and the 2 movie options were Deadpool and How to Be Single. I feel like most times we go to the movies, we end up watching an action film, so I really wanted to watch a chick flick.

When I was single (pun intended), I mostly watched Chick Flicks, Rom-Coms, and ALWAYS Superhero movies. In this instance though, I wanted to go for something light and funny, so How to Be Single was the choice. It wasn't a bad movie - there was laughter in some scenes. However, I didn't know it was rated R - there was A LOT of random hooking up (sex o) and F-bombs everywhere. That aside. It made me think about my life before I met Cakes.

In our culture, there's a pressure on females to start looking for husbands once they turn 20, or are getting ready to graduate from the University. I certainly felt that pressure and in fact, fasting and prayer sessions were held on my behalf once I turned 25 with no Mr Right in sight. I didn't see what all the fuss was about. I knew I would get married eventually, so I just wasn't interested in the jumping up and down. I didn't meet Cakes until 2/3 months before my 30th birthday and we got married when I was 31. And no, I wasn't worried that while turning 30, I didn't have a boyfriend. So what? I was enjoying my life. I went out to different restaurants BY MYSELF, watched movies BY MYSELF, even wanted to travel by myself (but my family's concern for safety overshadowed that plan). One of my biggest regrets is that I was not "allowed" to live on my own. I cried and argued and begged but the powers-that-be (Mummy and Daddy) dissuaded me. All I know is my future daughter(s) WILL live in their own apartment. Anyway, the point is that I was having fun as a single gal.

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Isn't she gorgeous?

Too many females today are living their lives in a substandard manner, with the excuse of "I'm not married." They say when they get married then their lives will be complete. When they get married they'll be happy. When they get married, this or that will happen... I'm here to tell them (or you) to STOP!

Stop waiting for life to happen to you! Discover yourself, date yourself, and do the things that interest YOU! You don't need to wait for a life-mate to enjoy yourself. You like cooking? Cook up a storm and invite your friends over. You like dancing? Turn on some music and dance like nobody's watching! You like watching movies? Hey, no date means you can concentrate on the movie completely. You like to travel? Go on a group tour or trip - there are quite a number in Nigeria now. The possibilities are endless! The way to be single is to DO YOU, ENJOY YOURSELF, LIVE YOUR LIFE!

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The end.

MOBY SPEAKS

I loved being single. Kai... Really I did. Even though it was for a short while but I loved every part of it. Going to the movies till late, hanging out with friends without feeling the need to explain who is who...it was amazing.

Singles, please enjoy your life and don't be pressurized by family and friends. No one should limit you at all and the best part is you can serve God without distractions.

And stop believing all the instagram and facebook pictures. Some of them are just acting. You don't want to know the story of some people in a relationship. True words. You even get to know a lot about yourself while single. I started loving myself more when I was single. Y'all think Moby is confident and has high self esteem and this and that....na lie. I was the timid girl that never spoke a word in the crowd. I learnt to be the real me when I was single.

Enough said.

Have a wonderful week ahead Mobylizers... Me love y'all.

P.S: I am planning a movie hangout this weekend. If you're single and wanna hang out, let's do that. You know how we do it. Send me a mail at moby.amusu @gmail.com with subject mail INTERESTED.

Mwahhhhh....

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Hellluuurrrr *in my strangest Madea's voice*

How y'all doing?

You know Moby is back when you get a Dear Moby series in a week *covers face*. Feels so good to be back.

What's crackalacking?

MY MOOD RIGHT NOW? Mixed emotions.

I made a major life decision yesterday... nope I executed a major life changing decision yesterday. I should be happy about it but I made the decision months ago but I executed it 9 days earlier than I should have and I feel down tintin ni (small)... but I am happy I made the decision. I can see lots of people waiting to hear the gist... ntorrr. The decoders are trying to decode the gist... na lie. I am not telling anyborri... hehe.

Okay..... what do I have today?

I saw this picture while I was away and I was very angry at first until I decided to drink very cold water and use wisdom.

The message reads "Stop giving men money...A man is not a man if he has to KEEP ASKING a woman for money."

Okay maybe the designer of the message was a lil bit harsh but here's my opinion.

I have no problem giving my man money. Its no big deal. I would do it a million times over if I have to. I mean we are supposed to be a team right?. I cover your shame, you cover mine.

I heard a story of a man that didn't have a job for close to 2 years but no one in the man's or woman's family knew cos the woman would send money on behalf of the guy to them... buy stuff in the house... Basically covered the man's shame till he got a job *that's my kinda woman...she's the baddest*

But the word KEEP ASKING is what I have a problem with.

When I was staying with my mum, there was this neighbor of ours that their case was out of this world. The wife was doing about three jobs... She worked in a bakery, she was a tailor and she was working another job. But her husband was lazy AF. He would wake up, stretch his leg around the neighborhood (he does that so that he wouldn't be there when the wife is setting the dinning table for breakfast). He comes back expecting breakfast (and he gets it...thanks to wifey). When she's going out, she drops money for him...Then he sleeps all day... wakes up and goes to the viewing centre to watch football and drink with the cash wifey dropped.

Now my point is its okay for a woman to give money to her man but if he keeps asking without showing any effort of trying to make money then he stops being the man... the woman is already the man if she has to take care of the house. I tell people 'atleast show that you're trying.... fake it till you make it". Some men just irritate me... they are lazy and they are proud of it. They gossip like women, gist like women and do nothing all day. I have plenty of them in my estate. I didn't mention names o *picks up slippers incase I need to run*

That's my own one piece... just my own thought.

I want to read your thought.

Should a man collect money from his woman and does that make him any less of a man?

Let's talk.

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According to Webster Dictionary, Jealous is being defined as Vigilant in guarding a possession or disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness.

For example, a friend of mine told me her boyfriend told her he gets jealous when people look at her (both guys and girls). He even went as far as saying when they get married, she'd start covering her face... ehn well I do not know what her response was but that's an amazing amount of jealousy. ~~I know I live for the stares. I get satisfied when I know people are staring at me...hehehe~~

But how far can your jealousy get?

I was reading a post some time last week and I saw a picture of a woman that was beaten black and blue by her boyfriend (please note not husband) because he thought she was too much for him and he was undeserving of her.*both arms on head*... Now this Aunty went on her social media and says "My man will only beat me because he loves me. If he doesn't get jealous then it means he doesn't love me". GBAM.... WORD. This Aunty is on point. I can end my post here seeing we have learnt something new. Or rather two new things.

1. Your man will only beat you if he loves you.

2. Your partner will only get jealous because he loves you.

Alright guys..

Have a wonderful good Friday.

Peace... *straight face*

~~Why do I feel Lizzy is about to explode now~~? Hahahaha

Let's be serious now *straight face again*.

I read that post and I made a wish in my mind. I said "Lord God please let me meet this aunty or anyone that belongs to this school of thought so I can slap sense into their heads". Please if you are a Mobylizer and you believe the number 1 above, please call me.. let's have a chat so we can arrange a date for you SLAP!...LOL

It's no big deal for anyone to get jealous. As a matter of fact, if you don't love something or care about someone, you wouldn't give a hoot about what they do but when it becomes physical abuse, then that's bad. We hear of acid pouring cases, hot water drenching cases... even as bad as killing your partner.. hmmmm

Back to today's post. If you've ever been jealous over anything or anyone, raise up your hand please.

I have.. durhhh.

I like to see myself as a very jealous person...if and only if I like you. Yes I get jealous but I don't show it. When Moby says "IT IS FINE...DON'T WORRY", it is not fine o. Just run for your life.. but how far can I go with my jealousy? Truth is I can never hit anyone (have you seen me? I weigh 141 pounds and I am 5 ft 4 inches tall... I am definitely not a fighter...*puppy eyes*). I can break up with you sha. But I can't kill myself or anyone. I can't even kill a cockroach...True Story Mhen! Y'all remember the cockroach that almost killed me shey... If not, read it HERE.

Its okay for anyone to get jealous over something or someone they care about but beating or inflicting harm is just not acceptable.

Another dimension is stalking over jealousy...aka 'team snoop' *grin* How many people have stalked their partner(s) or maybe even their ex out of jealousy?

Raise your hands up... I see you. Yes you.. I know na

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I do.

Everyone does. Thanks to social media. So if ever at some point we were friends, I confess I have checked you out on all social media platform.

I want to know how far you can go cos of jealousy, like what's the worst you'd do? Let's talk.

In other news, a lot of people showed interest in our movie hang out o... what are we going to do? Ehnnnnn... Lemme be thinking *put on thinking cap...brb*

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TRUE

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So who followed the #Dubai trend on twitter over the weekend? I know some people have no idea what I am talking about.

Well, I forgive you. That's why I am here anyways.

SMW means Social Media Whoring. This post reminds me of the 90s popular '2 girls and a cup' porn... yea I watched that one. Please don't tell my mum.

The next time you’re tempted to like a girl’s selfie on Facebook or write a slobbering comment about how good she looks on her Instagram page, just think of DUBAI PORTA POTTIES and smile.

Want to know what that means, then please pull a chair, grab your popcorn and read on.

Have you ever wondered how popular Instagram models can afford their lavish lifestyles? I do... thanks to my stalking abilities *covers face*. Selfies showing off expensive cars, bags, yet they all work low-paid jobs as human hair sellers or even makeup artists *yes makeup artists*. You probably figured a guy was paying for their Louis Vuitton purses and trips but you didn’t know the sheer depths these girls would sink to for a few bucks.
Instagram model means prostitute, they might as well start to put their rates under the pictures because they won’t be fooling anyone for much longer. As it turns out, most, if not all, Instagram models make their living by being "sponsored," meaning they get paid to fly to Dubai and have sex with an Arab guy and ten of his best buddies. But these hoes don’t simply rent their pussies out for cash: they engage in some of the most disgusting sex acts you can imagine. Yes this is real. Here is how it is done.

There would be a "model recruiter" who gets paid to find girls who are basically willing to whore themselves out to rich Saudis with oil money. The Saudis pay anywhere from $10,000 to as much as $50,000 per girl for each trip which last anywhere from a weekend up to 2 weeks and they basically sleep with these girls multiple times a day with just about every fetish you could imagine including pooping/peeing on the girls. The Saudis take pride in pooping/peeing on the girls and more often than not, they make personal bets and hold contests to see who can get the most liquidy poop to drop on the girls faces and the winner gets to choose the next vacation spot and gets to pick his girls first.

Now this is termed "Dubai porta potties".
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The truth is, we’ve slid all the way to Sodom and Gomorrah. Here we have an entire class of women who are so lacking in decency that they’ll shove salmon up their vaginas so they can afford to shop at Saks Fifth Avenue. A civilization where women sell themselves, not even to survive, but for frivolous luxury items.

And the worst part is after taking a shitty facial from an arab and getting paid, these girls will fly back home and pretend they're goddesses after some firm rationalization. She's the same girl you will meet next week and go out to dinner with and would withhold sex from you to convince you she's a treasure.

The Instagram models have sipped from a poisoned chalice. Their souls are being warped by the repulsive acts their sponsors make them do. Even if they luck out and manage to find a man who will marry them knowing what they’ve done, the memories of the sick acts they’ve committed will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

In the specific case of these Arab sheiks, these are men who are wealthier and more privileged than the kings of old. But instead of using their fortunes to advance science, culture or philosophy, they pay women to have sex with German shepherds. They are degenerates in every sense of the word, fools who have squandered a great gift on pointless hedonism.

There are good women out there, yes, but its situations like this that make people say that women do not deserve worship or respect because women have degenerated themselves to a very sorry level. Women now like to flatter themselves by thinking that all they need to do is show up, look hot and men will do all that they want .

And so, in the case of the Instagram models, there’s no reason to be intimidated by beautiful women. That drop-dead gorgeous girl you’re crushing on is likely getting paid to have a Saudi sheik shit on her nose and watch it drip down her chin. She's getting a DUBAI PORTA POTTIES.
*Can't deal no more... I give up*
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SOURCE: Tag the Sponsor
Culled by Moby.

SISTERHOOD OF THE WHAT?

MY EX HAD BETTER NOT TRY THIS

WEEKEND DOWNLOAD - ALL BLUE EVERYTHING

GBAGAUN IS ALLOWED

CHEERS TO A SUPER DUPER WEEKEND

WEEKEND DOWNLOAD: SURPRISED BRIDE TO BE

WEEKEND DOWNLOAD: EMOTIONS EVERYWHERE

MY HIV STORY

DON'T PHUNCK WITH MY HEART MOBY

GIVEAWAY WIFE

HAPPY NEW YEAR MOBYLIZERS

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY

DON JAZZY AND OLAMIDE BROKE US UP

THIS ISN'T GOODBYE 2

I HAVE A STINKY HOO-HA

THE GIRL STRUGGLE WAS REAL

HOW TO BE SINGLE

DEAR MOBY

HOW JEALOUS DO YOU GET?

THE NEW GENERATION WHORING (SMW)